Liar, liar, pants on fire!

I have a weakness. I cannot tell people, especially guys, the truth about how I feel about them. I am afraid of making a guy feel bad, or letting him make me feel bad. Thus, I would lie to them... Yes, I am soo bad, I admit... It's no wonder that guys that I've been with, lie to me as well. Karma, I guess. But then, guys tell even worse lies and more times than women do.

These are the Top 6 Lies that I have told guys, at least, those that I do remember, starting from the latest:

1. "Ha? Magagalit ang boyfriend ko." (What? My boyfriend might get mad)

A few days ago, some guy at my gym asked for my cellphone number. I didn't want to tell him to his face that I wasn't interested, so this was what I told him. Truth is, nobody will get mad at me for giving him my number because I don't have a boyfriend anyway. I'm just not interested.

2. "I am not texting my male friends anymore, since last March."

Hehehe... Is it actually possible for you to completely stay away from friends that you have known for more than 10 years, just because your boyfriend of more than a year told you so? I don't think so. Truth is, I still kept texting them forwarded messages and I still gave them my new number, despite my boyfriend at that time prohibiting me from doing so.

3. "I've stopped smoking... Honest!"

Obviously, not!

4. "Wala akong boyfriend... Break na kami ng ex ko." (I don't have a boyfriend... My ex and I broke up.)

Interested in getting to know a bunch of guys that I had just met for the first time, I denied the fact that I had a boyfriend, when actually, at that time, I did have one. Someone then told me that he saw me with my boyfriend, so I told him that we already broke up. I never really had any intention of cheating on my boyfriend that time. I just want to be treated as if I'm single and I didn't want to feel tied down all the time. Hayyy... It has been months since I had actually broken up with this boyfriend of mine but until now, he never knew about this. Bwahahahahahaha!

5. "Yup, may nanliligaw sa akin ngayon."(Yes, someone is courting me right now.)

There is nothing that I hate the most than looking pathetic infront of an ex-boyfriend. Thus, after seeing WrongAtAllLevels again, a few months after the break-up, and he asks me how my lovelife is, this was what I told him... Can you blame me? I don't want him to think that I'm still pining over him. He already broke my heart. He doesnt have to think that I'm still inlove with him.

6. "Nisita yayo ase abaha el phone. Chene payo kosa ase. Ta laba pa yo plato." (I have to put the phone down now. I still have something to do. I'm still washing the dishes.)

Unable to tell someone that I don't want to talk to him on the phone anymore, this was what I told him. I was still very young and very immature at that time, okay? ... Yes, I am so bad. Sorry, man. You know who you are.

I Miss Dating =(


I miss dating... I miss that jumbled up feeling wherein you are both nervous and excited at the same time. I miss the butterflies in my stomach that come out whenever I'm getting ready for date, that kinikilig na feeling when the guy treats you like a lady, that unexplainable thing that makes you wonder why you keep smiling all the time. Everything feels different when you're dating someone. It's as if you're constantly looking behind rose-colored lenses. You're still in the process of getting to know the person very well yet, so, to you, he's nothig but perfect.

Of course, things become different when you just aren't dating someone, you're actually IN a relationship with them. Now that's a different story and certainly not something I would want to be into for now. I mean, think about it, what seemed romantic to you before now become incredibly annoying. You finally see the flaws that you were so incredibly blind to before. You finally realize that your boyfriend certainly isn't the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. That all this time, you were actually inlove with nothing but an illusion.

This is probably the reason why it's been three months and I I have never gotten back into the dating game. Not that nobody was asking me. I have turned down three guys: the first one, a good friend, second one, a long-time friend and the third, some guy at my gym. I wanna start dating again, but I've been burned too many times that I am afraid that once I start dating some guy, he'll be expecting our thing to progress into a relationship. And unless he is the guy of my dreams, I dont want to have a relationship with him. And when things don't work out, I don't want for us to have to go into that awkward situation where I will end up feeling guilty for leading him on, even when I didn't actually intend to do so.

Still, I have to admit, I do miss the rose-colored lenses...

Of course, if a guy who looked like Colin Farell or Piolo Pascual asked me out on a date, I'll be all dressed up and ready to go before he even finishes saying my name. Are you kidding? I'd have babies with them in a minute!

To Lacoste: In A Perfect World


You are the savior of the dreams that I had forgotten
You loved even when you were not loved
You watched even when you were not seen
You aimed to be the color in the palette of my bleak existence
You constantly offer me your world
Only to be rejected.
Again.
And again.
And again.
You are a gift best kept wrapped
Appreciated within a distance.
In a perfect world, we would be together
No longer would you be grasping straws with destiny, scrambling for its scraps
No longer would I be picking at my scars and draining the exudates of my past
You would be my lover, my bestfriend, my partner, my teacher
You would be my soulmate
And I would be the genie in your lamp
But I do not live in a perfect world
And neither do you
It would've made things easier if we did
If only I loved you the way you loved me
If only...
If only...
If only...
But I don't.