Keeping Him A Secret

Maybe it's because it has been a long time since I had a boyfriend, but I am feeling very lost in this new relationship with Lasa. I don't know what to do. I analyze everything too much. I keep assuming things. For example, knowing his job, I thought he'll be too busy to text me at all so I don't bother to text him, unless he texts me first. But I was wrong and apparently, if we can't see each other in a day, we're supposed to text each other as much as the number of times that we eat in a day, plus before going to sleep... Is this really how it's supposed to be?

Thankfully, he's not the type to make a big deal out of nothing - which is good for me, because I'm the total opposite. Hehehe - and he doesn't get mad if I wasn't able to text him at all.
Nice, no? He certainly is surpassing all my expectations.

We met a few hours ago, he picked me up from the hospital and brought me home. I was semi-bullied into letting him into the house (I don't usually do that with guys I date, unless I'm 100% sure that the relationship is serious) and he met my younger brother... Wish me luck when my brother tells my parents about him tonight and they start asking questions about him. It certainly won't be pretty.

On the way, he asked me a lot of questions and he seemed vey interested to know things about me. I honestly don't know why. My life is very basic and very boring. We even got to a point that he thought it would be best if we got married after my Board Exams... I just smiled but inside, I'm like Whhaaaaat? We're discussing marriage now when I don't even know if it's okay if people know that we're seeing each other? And what about other things to consider? Seriously, is he crazy?

Okay, I admit. It was a sweet thought. What girl doesn't swoon when a guy she likes thinks of marrying her? Pero ang bilis naman ata...

And speaking of letting other people know, I think he's waiting for me to make that decision, which would be more difficult considering that I have never been this confused in a relationship. I would rather he make that decision himself and I follow. Hehehe... He did ask me if my friend knew that I was going home with him. I told him no.

Actually she did. And she's the only one who knows.

Do you honestly think that I can survive with this dilemma on my own? Of course not! I still need a sounding board and at least one friend to tell me to just enjoy what's happening and not to analyze it too much.

I honestly don't know what to do.

If I was sure that this is just a fling, I might know better what to do. But I don't. Because what we have is turning out to be an actual relationship. And actual relationship means that I'm not supposed to be keeping him as a secret.

I guess I'm a little afraid of what people might think. I knew my parents will be totally against it. My friends may accept it but they would be giving me warnings left and right. And in the end, the pressure might cause me to break down and break it off with him.

I don't want to do that.

You see, he is starting to grow on me.

I think I might be inlove with him.