Confessions of A Jerk Magnet

I always end up dating the bad boys.

You know, boys that I know are totally wrong for me. I don't know why.

I met my first boyfriend, Rain, while waiting for a jeepney to school. He made sukob to my umbrella and got my phone number and home address before he had even gotten off the jeepney. A naive 17-year-old was certainly no match for this 23-year-old Speedy Gonzales who had hands and a mouth that quickly wanted to venture to illegitimate places, despite my disapproval. That certainly didn't last long and by the second month, I was already avoiding his phone calls and preparing my speech of "Narealize ko na hindi pala kita minahal."

My second boyfriend, Baby Boy, nice, sweet and sentimental as he was, was two years younger than me. I was in college, he was in 3rd year highschool. Things were pretty great until he stepped into college and realized that he didn't want me to be his first and last girlfriend. His need to broaden his horizons and to check out the other fishes in the sea led to our break-up. End of story. Ayoko ng magsalita dahil baka mabasa niya blog ko. Hahaha... Peace tayo, Dong! Hehehe...

My relationship with my third boyfriend, Acne Vulgaris, my co-intern during my last month rotation, lasted for seven months. Seven months of us never even telling each other "I love you". Because he was always broke, I was always the one inviting him to go on a date, therefore, end up paying for both of us. When we bumped into his relatives at Megamall, and they asked if I was his girlfriend, his exact words were "Hinde. Friend ko lang." It was quite easy to break up with him after that, before I went back to Zamboanga City, reasoning that I wasn't into a long-distance relationship. It did made me feel a little guilty when during our last conversation, he told me that of all the girlfriends that he had, I was the nearest to the one he wanted to spend his life with... Ganon? I never even felt it, gago.

My fourth boyfriend and ex-fiancee, WrongAtAllLevels, was the devil incarnate. I thought he was THE ONE considering that he would be different from all the other guys that I have dated since he was my first taste of Grade-A Zamboangueno meat. I lived through the two years and seven months of insecurity, impossible demands, lack of freedom, limitations, heated and very loud arguments, flirtations and foiled attempts at courting other women, a botched marriage proposal and I still ended up on the losing end, after he had fallen inlove with a minor who was 10 years younger than him. He was certainly the biggest mistake of my life and my biggest regret was that I should have ended my relationship with him sooner.

Now, I'm dating another guy who I know is also wrong for me. Lasa's nice, very sweet, a litle too serious than I would have preferred but he has his funny moments, who sees something in me that I probably don't see (Which is probably a good thing, right?), who believes - even if I don't - that I have a lot of untapped potential (like in making a Book Report, Hahaha...). He's a lot like me except for the fact that I find a lot of things funnier, I like going out more and that I have never dated more than one person at the same time. Despite knowing that he's wrong for me, I find myself more attracted to him each day. Kasalanan kasi ni Kupido yan. Hehehe...

So, what do all these guys have in common?

1. Except for No. 5, they are all the youngest in the family.

2. They are all notorious players. Or in the case of No.2, a flirt.

Why, oh, why do I end up dating these guys? Is it because the wrong guys are attracted to me? Is it because I don't see myself being happy with a good guy? Is it because the good guys have run out? Is it because the wrong guys are so much fun to be with? Is it because I find good guys ugly or boring? Is it because I fall inlove too easily? Is it because I really am a jerk magnet?

I must be doing something wrong with my life if I always keep ending up with these type of guys. Don't I deserve din naman the chance to meet a guy who knows he can make me cry but will never ever try to do so?

Kahit ganito lang ako, naghahanap din ako ng soulmate...