The Blog that I Will Probably Regret Posting


Honestly, I'm tired of the dating scene. I see my gradeschool friends getting married, my highshool friends in fulfilling relationships, my college friends with their Friendster accounts filled with snapshots, sonnets and testimonials about their special somone, classmates and couples who treat each other like their bestfriend. And I get envious... How come napakaelusive ng ganong klaseng relasyon sa akin? When I'm with someone, I always feel as if there's something missing. And when I thought I've finally found it, I realize eventually that it wasn't going to stay that long.

My current lovelife is a series of getting-to-know-yous. You meet someone, pag di kayo magclick, you meet another one. Pag di na naman kayo magclick, you move on to the next. When you finally meet someone you can get along with, you end up doing the same things. Lunch, dinner, movies, meeting the parents, making out, hehehe.... Pare-parehas lang, nag-iba lang ang company.

Nakakasawa na. Napapagod na ako.

And it doesn't help that my parents still don't trust me enough to have another boyfriend. How am I supposed to fix my life and settle down with one serious guy if I can't bring one home and introduce him as my boyfriend? Apparently, until I graduate, pass the boards and get a job, any boy I will be bringing home will be delegated to the "He's just a friend" category... Hello? I'm 25 years old, I've had four boyfriends, five, if you count the most recent. Kailan ko ba binalewala ang school work for anyone of them? Never ko naman ginago ang buhay ko despite my kahibangan with a boyfriend. Di ba enough that I was able to graduate Physical Therapy on time? (Actually, not on time because of Chemistry 14 but it doesn't count kasi I was boyfiendless at that time. Hehehe...)Di ba nila naapreciate the fact that despite having a boyfriend, I have never failed anyone of my exams in medical school? Yet? (Hehehe... wag naman...) Di ba nila narealize that maganda ang upbringing nila sa akin and that they can trust me because, despite having boyfriends, I never got pregnant or got married while still in school?

Gusto ko nang malagay sa tahimik ang buhay ko.

I want to have best of both worlds. Love plus lust equals contentment. It's not that I want to get married already. Marriage is a possibility but contented na ako with knowing that I am with the guy who will spend the rest of his life with me and we'll both be happy and have no regrets about it in the end.

Yes, I want to get settled down already. But I want to do it with the right guy. I don't want to have any regrets in the end. Studies show that most doctors, because they are already very much fulfilled in the other aspects of their life, have an unfulfilled lovelife and end up either not married, or married but sexless, cheating, having affairs, lying, living in denial or staying together for the children. Only 10% actually live happily ever afer.

I'm still hoping to be one of the 10%.