Adventures of the Female Master Dater

This is for all the girls who have had men cheat on them.

I now know why men cheat. It is just too damn addictive. That feeling of having the affections of more than one person, you dating A today, meeting with B tomorrow, texting with C every night... it's like riding a motorcycle running really fast... Deep inside, there's the thrill about being caught, yet you don't want anyone of them to find out. You lie when asked who was that person who picked you up from the gym, about doing your report when you're actually too busy flirting with someone through text. You find yourself holding two cellphones at night, one for Smart and the other for Globe. All that flirting... It makes you wonder why people want to be in committed relationships, when dating non-exclusively is just too darn fun...

Hay naku, NYTM. Sa impyerno talaga ang bagsak mo nito. Hahaha...

And I've also realized why men stick to their girlfriends despite wanting to fool around with other girls. Because after all the excitement, all that fun and games, all that thrill, at the end of the day, you just want to settle down with someone who will love you no matter what, despite all the extra pounds, despite the fact that you eat too much, despite the fact that you don't have the perfect teeth or the perfect body...

Recently, I've come to a few realizations that caused me to do some pretty big changes in my lovelife - or the lack of it. Hehehe... I've finally found the courage to break up with my boyfriend, who has been treating me crappily, for a year and a half. Despite the lack of commitment, I stood by him, in the hopes that when he finally decides to settle down, it will be with me. One year and a half went by and he has remained the low-life that he was. So much for the "I love yous" I wasted on him. So, I said to myself, he's not the only guy in the world who is interested with me, so, despite the slight regret that I wouldn't be that infamous girl who will be able to make him change his ways, I told him that we should finally stop seeing each other. End of the story for Lasa.

Another realization is the fact that hindi naman pala ako pangit. Hahaha... May appeal din naman pala ako. A couple of years back, I was holding on to a relationship that I knew was not good for me for so long (three years, in fact) because I was afraid that no other guy will love me anymore. WrongAtAllLevels stripped me of whatever self-esteem I had and made me feel that I wasn't going to find anyone better than him. But recently, I am meeting guys who are willing to take me seriously. As in, court me... At this day and age, what kind of guy still tells you that he wants to court you? It's been so long since I've had a guy tell me he wants to court me, that I find myself acting like a school girl, ignoring him whenever we see each other. I feel awkward and uncomfortable and I can't find anything to say whenever he's around. So much for being the so-called female master. Hahaha...

Finally, this realization just came across with me last night. I am inlove with someone. A very good friend, "Geoff Eigenman", who is on the rebound from a recently bad break-up, not ready to commit with anyone exclusively and has very particular tastes in his serious girlfriends. And now I know why there are movies about bestfriends letting the opportunities pass and not telling each other how you feel because it's scary to tell someone how you really feel and actually mean it. You risk letting him see that piece of vulnerability you rarely let others see, especially when all this time, you have been hiding under a mask of jokes and laughter and non-exclusive flirting. You keep everything under wraps because you know that there is that possibility that you will lose him forever if you tell him what you feel and he just doesn't feel the same for you.

So, I just kept my mouth shut.

The Master Dater has finally lost her nerve.