And I wonder why I’m the only one in the room whose panic button has not been turned on
It’s not really because I’m more confident or that being a PT graduate, I have experience in taking the Board Exams. I just finally accepted the fact that whether I worry about it or not, it won’t change a thing about my situation. Whether or not I panic, I still have to work my ass off. So, for now, I’m a lot more relaxed than most.
Surprisingly, however, I was struck by a bolt of compassion today. For years I was content to hoard this survival knowledge for myself, receiving no small amount of pleasure from the fact that right now everyone’s life sucks but mine. Thus, I have made the decision to, for the first time ever, release my list of exam survival tactics so that the masses may revel and join me in my stress-free glory.
Not Your Typical Med Student'’s 9 Tips on How to Cope with the Exams
1. Read.
Of course! What the hell did you expect me to say afterall? You honestly can’t expect to pass if you don’t read, dumbass… Consider Snell, Schwartz, Guyton, Katsung and Harrison’s your new boyfriends and the only guys you’ll be sleeping with for the next few months. As for the amount of reading matter, going through High-yield Anatomy, Big Snell, small Snell, Netter and UPEC Reviewer to pass Anatomy, for example, may make you feel better but it won’t really improve your chances as much as you think. It takes up a lot of your time and you end up wasting most of it on a lot of information that might not come out during the exam anyway. Ditch the security blanket and stick to at the most 2 books only per subject. Memorize them by heart.
2. Sleep.
If you’re sleepy, sleep. Don’t be one of those people who stay awake until 4 AM just to finish reading. Trust me, you’ll be paying for that dearly the next day. Not only will you be making up for the well-needed sleep in the middle of the afternoon the next day (which you could have used instead for studying) but you’ll be walking around dazed, yawning repeatedly from the lack of sleep, your eyelids a mere toothpick away from drooping.
Of course, when I say sleep, I don’t mean you go to sleep whenever you feel like it. Organize your daily routine and set a proper sleeping time, say 12 midnight. When the clock strikes 12, drop those yellow dermatographs and get some shut eye. To at least get 6 hours of sleep, you should be awake by 6-7 am. Anytime between 6 AM-12 midnight is fair game. For those reading about isovolumetric contraction, hemoglobin dissociation curves and partial pressure of carbon dioxide and unable to stay awake in the middle of the day, allow yourselves some quality nap time of 30 mins-1 hour. Anything more than that is no longer considered a nap but a Vanilla Sky movie.
Music does help so keep those MP3s and IPods fully charged at all times. The blaring music of Flo Rida in your earphones will make you want to dance and keep you from falling asleep. Plus, your version of “She opens my eyes, oh my Levator… Palpebrae superioris, my levator,” may help you remember some stuff better. Be careful though when you start singing to Leona Lewis “Bleeding Love” while studying with some friends. For all you know, they might be secretly plotting to strangle you and your poorly-developed vocal cords. Now if your Circadian rhythm sucks and you just can’t seem to keep those eyes open, feel free to take up an addiction. Coffee is the most common choice of picker-upper. For first-timers, half a pack of one 3-in-1 sachet will suffice. For those who have been consuming coffee regularly but can only take up to 1-2 cups per day, I recommend one sachet of Nescafe’s 3-in-1 Intense. For the confirmed coffee addicts or those with caffeine running through their veins, one sachet of imported coffee from the barter (especially the 4-in-1 ones with Tongkat Ali, whatever that is) might work for you. If it doesn’t, you can always chug on half a pack of a 25 g packet of instant coffee. Just make sure you live near a hospital just in case you start getting those PVCs. If none of that works, other choices for addiction are nicotine, Redbull, ginseng and shabu. Hey, it’s your funeral.
Back in my PT board review days, a popular drug used by some of my classmates to improve their studying was Glutaphos. I’ve never personally tried it but I heard it keeps you awake longer and makes you remember things better. Of course, you risk feeling like you’re floating one feet from the ground the next day but like I said, hey, it’s your funeral.
3. Stick ‘em up the wall
If you have to remember something at all costs, and you keep forgetting about it, write it in a post-it/ bondpaper/manila paper/cartolina/the back of a calendar page and stick it against the wall in your study area. Chances are, if you keep looking at it for the next few months, you get a visual memory of the information etched in your brain and you increase your chances of remembering it more.
4. Stay happy. Eat.
As a friend once kept reiterating to me, “It’s better for you to be fat but pass the exam one time than to be thin and fail the exam and retake.”
Ever noticed why you don’t see any of those thin, young, lanky supermodels laughing or smiling? My theory is that they look unhappy because they’re always hungry. Ever noticed why none of them end up as doctors, lawyers, engineers, rocket scientists and end up instead becoming TV talk show hosts, infomercial endorsers and housewives to has-been celebrities?
Lack of food + Unhappiness = Low IQ.
I rest my case.
5. Study with a friend.
Everybody has his or her own personal studying strategy. Some people prefer complete and total silence. Some prefer to actively discuss the topic in an animate battle of wits, engaging other people in mini-debates based on the variety of reference sources read. Some prefer reading quietly but occasionally throwing each other questions and answers at the top of their heads. Whichever might be your chosen strategy, you increase your chances of improving your study time if you study with a friend. You and your friend motivate each other to stay awake, some things are better remembered when discussed intensively with someone and heard through someone’s voice (auditory memory) and you have someone who can confirm the correct answers to a few doubtful questions. Besides, two heads will always be better than one.
Of course, this will only work if your friend is also studying. Your Yaya/boyfriend/Mom/Dad/sister/Number 2 totally don’t count. Your friend’s studying strategy should also be the same as yours. If you’re the type who likes reading BRS Physio quietly and he’s the type who likes actively debating on V/Q mismatch, then, you’re better off studying alone in your bedroom instead.
6. Give yourself some “Me” time.
If you study 24/7, 7 days a week, 30 days a month, you’re probably one of those people who don’t have a life. A potential topnotcher maybe, but friendless, loveless, a stranger to your family, has not set foot into church for months, an NB/GSB (No Boyfriend/Girlfriend Since Birth) or has a boyfriend/girlfriend who is secretly thinking of dumping you. Don’t let the exams consume your very being. Get a life, for God’s sake!
Set aside at least 1 day in a week for your “Me” time. Go watch a movie with a friend, attend mass, cook dinner for your family, fool around with your girlfriend or that video scandal you just Bluetoothed to your cellphone, answer your e-mails, update your Friendster blog, play pranks on your brother, go crazy with Unlimited Texting, watch the entire Season 1 of Gossip Girl. Whatever you do, don’t pick up your books and dermatograph during your “Me” time. You only have one day of relaxation and six days of perspiration. Use it wisely.
7. Hoard the lucky charms.
When I was reviewing for my PT Boards, my classmates and I wanted to improve our chances of passing so we participated in this Novena for St. Jude which we were told was the Patron Saint for those who have something they desperately want. This included duplicating about a hundred copies of his devotional prayer, lighting a candle and praying to his image everyday in a chapel in Makati, where one of my classmates lived (I was living in Quezon City that time) and religiously leaving about 10 copies of his devotional prayer under his stone image per day. We all passed thankfully, though until now, I still don’t know if it was St. Jude or the review center and our own group study sessions that made the whole thing possible. Plus, I was told by a friend that St. Jude is not the patron saint for those who have something they desperately want but those who have lost something valuable and wants it to be found as soon as possible.
Anyway, I’m totally falling way off-base the topic here. My point is there’s really nothing wrong in believing that a little bit of luck might help. You have nothing to lose anyway. But don’t depend on luck too much. In my opinion, luck is akin to a Sodium (Na)-Glucose transporter. At a plasma glucose level of less than 250 mg/dl, all the glucose can be reabsorbed by the kidneys because there are plenty of transporters but at a certain point, particularly at greater than 350 mg/dl, your transporters are saturated and you get hyperglycemia. On the other hand, if there is plenty of knowledge to utilize, luck can help improve your chances. But if there just isn’t enough knowledge to begin with, no matter how much luck you keep accumulating, none of it helps improve your chances.
So, go ahead, light a pink candle at Fort Pilar. If you’re heart starts pounding upon receiving a chain letter that tells you, you will have bad luck for three years if you ignore this letter, don’t panic and just e-mail the letter to 10 of your distant and foreign friends in your Yahoo! Address book. Go crazy buying red underwear, green notebooks, rabbit’s foot, four-leaf clovers and potted mini-bamboos. Forward those “Do not delete without forwarding to 15 friends or you will fail the board exams” text messages. Have your entire bedroom and study area Feng Shui-ed. Don’t open an umbrella inside the house, walk under a ladder, cross the path of a black cat, bring food from a wake or funeral inside your house, stand in the middle when having your picture taken with two other people, get married on the same year as your younger sister, cut your fingernails at night, cut your hair at night, sweep the floor at night nor take some money out of your wallet at night.
After all, every little bit helps.
8. Evaluate your lovelife.
If you don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, this isn’t exactly the right time to be telling your friends that you’re ready to fall inlove again. It is not the right time to ask them to set you up with their friends. Investing in a new and serious relationship can be mentally and emotionally stressful and might take up your valuable study time. Reserve the boylets and chikabebes after you pass the exams. Trust me, you score more points being Mike Kwazowsky, MD License # 23456 than just being Mr. Mike Kwazowsky anyway. If possible, avoid textmates. They take up too much of your study time and your hard-earned allowance. Most guys who are contented to text you “You looked good this morning. We passed each other in the halls but you didn’t know I was there. You smelled so good,” and don’t have the guts to introduce themselves to you in person aren’t exactly that good-looking anyway.
For those who do have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, evaluate your relationship. Try to see where the two of you are heading. Think of it this way, let’s say you don’t pass the exams, how do you think your boyfriend/girlfriend will react? If you feel even just a simple inkling that he/she might not like you anymore, by all means, dump him/her now, as early as possible. Don’t waste your time and your neurons loving someone who might not love you anymore if you no longer fit his personal qualifications. He is not that good a catch as he thinks he is. Besides, you are reviewing for one of the most important exam in your life and you have a lot to cover in such little time. Don’t waste those neurons explaining yourself repeatedly to a narrow-minded person who thinks he’s always right. Don’t waste that valuable study time having senseless arguments about past arguments regarding ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends. Don’t waste your energy loving the un-lovable. He’s not worth it.
9. Fuck it.
There’s no point in stressing yourself by worrying about an exam that’s still six months away. There’s no point in panicking. Panicking will get you nowhere. Instead of wasting all that energy incessantly thinking about failing the exam, why not use that energy making sure that you don’t fail the exam?
At the end of the day, when you’ve done all of your very best, the only thing left to do really is to say “The hell with it” and leave everything in God’s hands. If you worked hard enough, He will take care of you. If you didn’t, no amount of prayers can help you, no matter how much of a testmanship genius you think you are.
So there you have it. Now that you’ve had the unique opportunity to break into my mind and pillage it for the upcoming exams, I hope you’re happy with yourself. I hope you take this knowledge and apply it to your own lives. If you do, I guarantee* that you will never stress over a test again. I want to leave you with two more important things to keep in mind if the items in the above list aren’t cutting it for you:
1. No matter how bad you do on your exams, you can always take it again after six months.
2. Fuck it, we’re all gonna die anyway.
*Guarantee denotes no actual guarantee of anything. I haven’t passed the board exams yet, dumbass. What makes you so sure advice on how to pass the exams from someone who hasn’t passed the board exams yet is even effective? Think, for god’s sake! Think!
– inspired from “Jeff Beck’s Finals Coping Strategies” from http://www.pointsinplace.com/
1 comment:
Great advice!!! Thanks! :D xx
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