PAUL

It has been four years since I last got the chance to talk to him. It surprised me that in the four years that he was gone, he has never changed at all. Yes, his life was a hell lot more complicated right now but deep inside, he was still the same person I knew him from before… Still laid-back, one whom you could bring to any crowd, willing to make the effort to make other people comfortable around him, still smokes like a chimney, still laughs at the same things that I find funny, still thinks I’m conservative (now, that’s what I call, a true bestfriend… since most people would protest when they hear him tell me this, hahaha…), still the deep-thinker who loved to analyze his life and reminisce about his past or reflect on his future.


Seeing him again made me remember those times when I would escape from the clutches of the nuns in my dormitory, cheat on my curfew and meet with him just to go smoking at Luneta Park, talking about anything under the stars. We talked about love and life and what the future would hold for us. The times when I was frustrated with my current boyfriend and I would surprise him in his boarding house and we would find some nearby bar to get drunk in or some cheap Videoke place where we would sing to our heart’s contents until he could no longer reach the high notes of Jon Bon Jovi’s “It’s my Life.” People always wondered why we never really hooked up. I guess I wasn’t his type and I was past that point where I could no longer see him as someone I could do some torrid kissing with. Ewww… Hahaha…


Oh, don’t get me wrong. I loved him. But as a very good friend. I taught him how to smoke and he taught me to see life as something that should be enjoyed with. His advices were ones that I really listened to because he was the one person who could read me well, despite all the masks, despite all the facade that I let others think of me, despite all the happy carefree faces I showed everybody. He knew the real me. For he was truly, and still is, whom I considered the male version of myself.


I am eternally happy that he has remained a very good friend to me. I look forward to the next time I see him again, with me probably working already (I hope!). I wouldn’t mind him showing up unexpectedly at home, where I’m looking at my worst (and which he usually does!) or even at my workplace. I certainly will skip work for him. Hahaha…


Despite what happened, of how I watched my friend cry buckets of tears over him when he left, I knew deep in my heart that I did not blame him for what he did. You have to know him really well to understand that there are things that he has to do to be happy and for the one he loves to be happy as well. I knew there were regrets in his part, but, one thing I learned from all this is that sometimes, you just had to let things go and see what the future holds.


May you finally be happy, my friend. You deserve it.