The Sexually Confused Chronicles: Unravelling the Gay-dar

If you’ve been an avid fan of this blog, I’m sure you know by now just how crazy I am over Piolo Pascual (in my perfect world, he’s 100% straight and all those gay rumors are just so NOT true!). I just think he’s sooo hot. You know, nice tight body, a complexion that reminded me of light coffee, perfect square jaw, manly but not dirty… Ahhh… I just wanna have a taste of those red, red lips… In line with that, a friend told me that Pond’s is sponsoring a raffle for a chance to win a date with him but that’s another story… Anyway, suffice to say, my unabashed lust for Piolo Pascual and wanting him to be the mother of my children is a manifestation that I am, yes, 100% heterosexual.

I love men. And someday, I wanna have babies with one.

Now that I have cleared that up, let us go to the jist of this blog.

I’m going to have to use fake names for everybody in this blog to respect their privacy, and to avoid any future libel suits that might come out in the future… Come on, guys, I’m jobless and I don’t have any money. Don’t sue me!

Sheila (not her real name) and I were talking the other day about a gay friend of ours, “Jean” who, being gay, has a penchant for sensing the gayness in other people. We call it their “gay-dar.” Apparently, aside from some of our friends who are confirmed gays, we also have those who are secretly denying that they are gay or even, simply unaware that they are gay. A part of our conversation went something like this:

SHEILA: And you know Dr. Jimmy Cricket, Jean think’s he’s gay.
ME: Yeah, me too.
SHEILA: Why? You’ve heard something about him?
ME: Well, back in highschool, he was an upperclassmen who was always with this group of popular but confirmed gays. I actually thought he was and then, years after, when I met him again, I was kinda surprised that he seemed so manly, when he used to look so girly before. And when I heard he got married, I was like, “Huh? I thought he was gay!”
SHEILA: I heard he had a relationship with another man.
ME: No… really?!
SHEILA: And Jean thinks that Noel is gay?
ME: What?
SHEILA: Yeah, that’s what he said.
ME: Oh, come on. That can’t be true… We’re pretty close. At first, when I didn’t know him that well yet, I might have had my doubts but as we’ve grow closer, I realized that he has an extremely naughty masculine side.
SHEILA: Yeah, I know. He sure knows a lot of kinky stuff.
ME: He can’t be gay.
SHEILA: Well, that’s what Jean said.

This went on as we enumerated our common friends one by one whose sexual preferences have been somewhat doubtful. Our penchant for discussing the sexual lives of our confirmed and possibly homosexual friends stems from the fact that we continue to live in a society that refuses to accept them, a society that makes fun of then, isolating their kind by limiting their occupational choices to comedy clubs, fashion and entertainment, forcing them to hide in secrecy and making a supposedly celebratory moment such as coming out of the closet a tragic and tearful experience instead.

This shouldn’t have been the case. They have as much right as we heterosexual men and women to be free and happy and to stand proudly as physicians, engineers, lawyers, teachers, investment bankers, or whatever they choose to be.

For this, I salute my confirmed gay friends who have long accepted and embraced their gay-hood.

“Apir, mga sisters!”